“Where have YOU been?” She asked as I reemerged. “We have missed you.” The truth is, I had missed myself. Overwhelmed, overloaded, and bogged down, it was hard to enjoy, cherish or even recognize ME! It took me a looong time to acknowledge that I was someone worthy to be cherished so I deemed it very important to understand the value of “me time”.
But in the midst of navigating the waters of life, I found myself drowning. Nothing of great consequence had happened that dragged me under, just the ruthless, vicious cycle of people pleasing and overcompensating for my supposed inadequacies. These were like an iron anchor tied to my feet. I could stand, but forward mobility was not my friend. So I just felt stuck. Instead of crying or screaming for help, I hid. From everything and everyone. Hoping my hiatus would ease the load that was so hard to bear alone.
It didn’t work. It felt good to hear “We have missed you” but it was soon followed by “well, you know we need you to” … and . . . “then will you”. . . “cause no one can do it like you!” I could have just screamed!!! In my heart I did. Time away hadn’t fixed, altered, or changed one thing. They didn’t change and I didn’t change.
The problem was not that I hid, but where I hid. Psalms 32:7 hit me like a tone of bricks! In this verse, David sought solace in the Presence of the Lord. Despite his situation, he found a place of peace.
If I wanted to experience peace, I had to get to the right hideaway. Not if I stay under my blanket, not if I avoid class and do Zumba at home, not if I find my way into the darkest cave. Nothing can fix, change, or HEAL like hiding in the Presence of my Father. It’s not about a place, but rather a position. When I position myself in the presence of the Lord I experience His love pouring over me like never before. I do this through prayer and worship. And as I enter the presence of the Lord, I experience His beautiful song of deliverance surrounding me, soothing my aches like balm. The Father’s loving song, calms all my fears.
Only when I hide myself in Him can I find safety from the enemies of my soul. I find shelter from the storms and winds of life. I find protection from the adversary’s strategic plot to kill, steal, and destroy. When I hide myself in Him I find joy unspeakable in the midst of what should be misery. I find abundance where I once perceived lack. I find peace—true peace—for my troubled soul. Only when I hide myself in Him can I truly find myself.
So the next time life overwhelms you to the place that you want to run and hide, don’t retreat under the blankets or to a corner in the local coffee shop. Retreat into the presence of God. Oh the treasure you will find, when you make the Lord your hiding place.
You are my hiding place; You will protect me from trouble and surround me with songs of deliverance. Psalm 32:7
The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full. John 10:10